I Went To See a Clairvoyant

 


Not a blog title a ever expected to be writing. There are some things in life that I try to avoid discussing, mostly areas that tread into the territories of politics and religion as they can cause heated discussions and conflicts amongst friends. Generally I used to describe myself as an atheist until I realised that would mean that I didn't believe in anything spiritual. I don't follow a religion but when it comes to discussions on what happens after death I do have some particular beliefs, mostly that this can't be all there is, surely we can't live for decades only to fade into nothing once we die. I'd never preach my views nor would I dismiss those of others, we can disagree without being disrespectful of one another.

I never would have thought I'd be going to see a clairvoyant, it's a word that summons images of palm readings, tarot cards, rabbits feet, crystal balls and an episode of 'The Simpsons'. I've felt like my life has been lacking direction for a long time, my mental health has affected what I can do on a daily basis. My crippling anxiety prevents me from even contemplating filling out a job application and I've always known that life in an office would never be for me. My head frequently tells me that I'm lazy although I know that I don't truly believe that. At the age of 24 being out of the education system with support on career advice and people assisting you towards a particular direction, I've felt lost. I have various interests and hobbies but can any of those become a career? Would I even be able to consistently do something without falling out of love with it? It has happened before back when I was on track to heading off to study art only to realise that I wasn't enjoying churning out artwork for good grades and the approval of certain people.

There is always the option of going to see a careers adviser or life coach if you need a change of pace or direction in life. It's always worth keeping in mind that it is never too late to start a new career, hobby or passion. It will take a lot of work, time and patience but if it will bring happiness it's certainly worthwhile. I started looking into clairvoyants after watching 'Holywood Medium with Tyler Henry', something which was initially just another trashy TV programme; part of my self care routine. I became engrossed in the episodes as I saw how he was genuinely connecting with loved ones that had passed on, he was receiving information that he could never have obtained via Google and he also made predictions on the clients futures which were spot on too. Whilst I'd love to be able to connect with lost loved ones, I knew that getting my life on track was the main priority. Mediums are able to connect with the deceased whereas clairvoyants are able to address future concerns. I like to think that I'm an open minded person, but sometimes it can be difficult when you hear of con artists or when the people around you are sceptical. I set up my first appointment and said that I was going to see a life coach, partially truthful as they were going to advise me on areas to pursue or concerns to address. Of course I'd still recommend that you give someone the address of where you're heading to if it is a private address to be on the safe side even if you have thoroughly done your research on who you're meeting with.

I went into my appointment with an open mind but decided to keep be as vague as possible when asked questions as I wanted the experience to be as authentic as possible. She could sense how anxious I was so we started the session with a 'spiritual cleansing' I was asked to hold onto a crystal and close my eyes as she communicated with the spirit guides, it was an incredibly calming experience and my entire scalp went tingly with vibrations. Once this was done I felt much more relaxed for the remainder of the session as we progress to the reading. I was asked to select 10 or 12 tarot cards which were spread face down across the table, strangely I felt certain ones caught my attention more than others. Without saying a word to her she revealed the cards and would see how certain relationships in my life were good or strained, she described characteristics of my partner to 't', she could see that I didn't have a conventional job but had talents in creative areas, she tapped into my writing a book that could be beneficial to others 'like me' which she followed up with by saying that she thought I had struggles with anxiety and depression as she could see darkness and isolation throughout the cards I was selecting. She somehow knew all of these things and many more without me ever supplying information beyond a nod of the head or a 'yes' here and there. I was in awe. It provided me with reassurance on what I was doing and also indicated that the summer would be difficult for me but that I'd come through it OK. She also predicted some big changes in my relationship which may transpire towards the end of next year. I have no idea what that would be but I'm interested to see if it happens!

Since that session in April I felt a lot better about where I was heading, however I then decided to start coming off my anti-depressants which affected how I felt about everything. I've just come back from having my second session with her and once again have a good outlook on life. She strongly encouraged that I get back to working on my book, return to blogging and maintain my Youtube channel (something which I hadn't told her before). If you are sceptical, know that all she knows about me is my first name and my phone number so we can set up appointments. I'm still astonished by the experience. It's not something that I'd do regularly like acupuncture but I'd definitely consider going to see her if I need advice or guidance in the future.

I felt like I needed reassurance from someone impartial. Praise and assurances that people see big things in my future don't really lift me up, even if I hear it from a friend or family member. I struggle to believe that I can achieve anything, yet seeing a complete stranger and hearing their view gave me the boost I needed at that time. 

 It is important to know that you should never jump the gun on life decisions based only upon what a clairvoyant has told you, readings are for guidance purposes and clients are advised to use their own judgement.

If you have any questions about my experience or would like to know the details of my clairvoyant based in Surrey then please let me know.

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Out In The World

 I'm always anxious when attending any kind of doctor, dentist or optician's appointment. However, I used to find it a lot easier to get through them when they started asking their seemingly endless list of personal questions. They used to be able to look at my age and assume that I was a student, which for many years was correct. I can no longer give myself that label without being a fraud, and lets not get started on how uncomfortable and flustered I feel when they ask if I'm a graduate! Nowadays I seem to choose one of a few responses. What I say usually depends upon the kind of mood I'm in and is based on how confident I'm feeling that day. I might say that I'm a writer which tends to prompt the follow up question of what do you write about? Or who do you write for? Someone once assumed that I wrote manuscripts! Sorry pal I'm not all that showbiz.

I usually feel fairly comfortable saying that I write about mental health. More often than not the conversation will end there, a lot of people clam up and find it awkward to talk about. On some occasions I'm not quite confident enough to say that I'm a 'writer', it sounds strange to me. Yes I write, but can I call myself a 'writer'? It's not my occupation, it's more of a hobby and self-help method for dealing with my past problems, current feelings and experiences with mental illness. Even being honest and saying "I'm a blogger" can cause some people to recoil, as if they think "oh here's another wannabe writer trying to earn a quick buck" or "anyone can create a blog these days, no biggy". You'd be right to think that those are just assumptions I've made, but bloggers do receive that kind of feedback regularly. Journalists and writers often see bloggers as a modern form of competition. I just think it's a fantastic platform to share opinions, help people and potentially launch careers from. On the days I'm really feeling down and feeling particularly useless in the world I'll say I'm un-employed at this time. It's easier and provides an immediate end to that topic of conversation. Companies must love me messing up their records as it's likely that over the years I will chop and change my answer depending upon how I'm feeling. Perhaps one day I'll be able to confidently say that I'm a writer. I'm definitely not saying that bloggers aren't 'writers', if you believe in yourself and are happy to declare yourself as such, good for you! Personally I don't think it matters if your answer varies. So long as you aren't pretending to be a Doctor, attempting fraud or meddling with your taxes...simply answer in the way that makes you feel most comfortable. Afterall, those dentist check-ups are only once a year- don't sweat it!