Book Review vol. 2

I'm back with another review of a mental health memoir. I'm hoping that you like these posts as I have a shelf full of these books waiting for me to read. I've already managed to read more books in just over a month than I was able to read in the entirety of 2015. Depression has really affected my concentration levels, even when it comes to watching TV or flipping through a magazine. I tried to distract my mind with fiction books last year but I couldn't keep up with the plot. Whilst reading novels I'd end up spending an hour reading and re-reading the same two pages because the information just wasn't going into my head. I seem to be having more success with non-fiction, particularly these books written about personal experiences of depression. It might sound like a tough read, but they've really helped reinforce the message that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do.

This week's review is on 'The Devil Within' by Stephanie Merritt. This book covers several stages of Merritt's life, through the brutal bullying she experienced in school to the alien world of extravagance in her sixth form and through to how earlier problems effected her in her adult life. Merritt shows how much strength she had as a teenager. Initially she avoided confronting her bullies and sought refuge in some of the quiet parts of her school. Bullies target the strange, the abnormal, sometimes things we are deeply insecure about and also things we'd never noticed about ourselves. Merritt eventually realised that no matter how many physical changes she made to her appearance, the bullies wouldn't relent. Instead of letting them pick her apart she stood up to them and removed any power they once had. She could have left the school, it was an option at one point but she decided to tough it out until she could leave and progress to sixth form. It was when she started sixth form that problems started to arise. She found herself attending an all girls sixth form college, one in which a uniform of luxury labels were worn and a certain body image was present across the school. What initially began as a way of attempting to fit in whilst also improving her health, Merritt developed an eating disorder. Her parents thought that she was going through a faze and was claiming her independence through cooking separate meals from the family. When she didn't see the results she had hoped for, her diet became even more restrictive and her exercise regime became obsessive.

An interesting dynamic of this book is that she grew up in an Evangelical Christian community. This was something that she once embraced and enjoyed. As the church started to develop and turned towards new practises she became skeptical of the church. The adults of the community started undertaking exorcisms which involved speaking in tongues over someone writhing on the floor as the devil within them was extracted from them through their mouth. Her parents believed that she needed the help of a church counsellor for guidance with her 'difficult' period believing that she required an exorcism due to her acting out. I wasn't expecting to be able to get through this part of the book, I wasn't sure I'd be able to process the religious content. I was happily surprised to find it very interesting.

Merritt's memoir also discusses her experiences of loss, her own depression as well as the secret illness of a friend, alcoholism and depression during and after pregnancy. Anyone that has experienced eating disorders or alcohol dependency might find some of the content difficult to read and could be a trigger. Although I've never had a problem with alcohol I have had an eating disorder and found some of the writing to be a slight pull towards those practises again. If anyone is interested in reading this book but would like to avoid that content I will happily tell you which pages to avoid. The reflections upon her time being pregnant were particularly interesting to me. Although I'm not ready to start a family just yet, I have worried about my increased risk of developing depression with pregnancy. There aren't any tips and tricks provided to avoid it, but her account enabled me to think about the environment and support network needed to help mitigate any symptoms of depression whilst pregnant and after the baby is born.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I purchased it based on reviews on Amazon. From reading those reviews I knew that she discussed her issues with alcohol but I hadn't expected some of the other issues she dealt with in her life. I found her account of her life at university particularly helpful for my peace of mind, it seems that we encountered similar difficulties. As well as being a fantastic memoir of depression, this book is also an engaging coming of age story, one which most of us will be able to relate to in some ways.

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Book Review vol. 1

As I mentioned before Christmas I was planning on writing some book reviews. I have a stack of books surrounding topics of depression, social anxiety, shyness, introverts and perhaps surprisingly...tidying!

The first edition of these book reviews is on the book that was a sensation in 2015 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying' by Marie Kondo. You might wonder how this book comes into relation to mental health. I happen to experience extreme anxiety when it comes to clutter. Unfortunately this anxiety conflicts with my nature of being a bit of a hoarder. I'm terrible when it comes to magazines, magazine cuttings, books, beauty samples and products and clothes. I've previously mentioned on the blog that I experience IBS which causes severe bloating. Due to this I have a range of sizes in clothing. It makes me anxious knowing I have clothing stored under the bed! As much as I try to tidy my space, it soon accumulates again and I'll end up sitting amongst things feeling overwhelmed.

Marie Kondo spent much of her childhood fascinated with housekeeping magazines. She was constantly tidying the cupboards in her family home, and this even extended into tidying up her classroom during break time at school! She soon realised that the 'storage solutions' promoted in magazines actually made the problem worse. We're a part of a mass consumer society, we most likely have far more than we really need. I'm sure you have things tucked away in the back of draws and cupboards that you had long forgotten about. Perhaps you'll be happy to rediscover such treasures, but it's more likely that those things are just taking up space. The 'Konmari' method centres around the process of bringing all of your possessions together from different categories. You start with clothing as this is the easiest area to start with, whereas trinkets, photos and heirlooms are more difficult to part with. It's likely that we have clothing dotted around in various rooms of the house, so it's important to bring them all into one space. The process of being confronted with the volume of clothes you own should by itself flag up a problem. We own too much! We have one body each, I'm guilty of stocking up on my favourite pair of jeans in case they get stained, ripped or worn until they are thread-bare. I've realised that process doesn't help. I end up wearing them all to the point where they are all looking well loved and in need of replacing.

The Konmari method encourages us to spend time touching, looking and feeling our belongings and asking one question "does this bring me joy?". The answer may come to you quickly. Sometimes it might take longer and we'll end up with a pile of 'maybes'. We usually hold onto things due to memories, because they were from our childhood or because they were gifted to us.

I was sceptical about this book at first, the process of holding belongings and asking yourself if they are loved or neglected and could be cherished elsewhere is a slightly strange process. Well, I ended up devouring this book in 2 days. I'm a convert! I seem to tidy up at least once a month. I'll get the bin bags out, turn up the music and blitz my room. I'll end up with several bags full of rubbish, yet I feel like there is still clutter surrounding me and it clogs up my mind too. When adopting this method, the aim is to undertake your tidying in one hit. This doesn't mean in one day, it could day between a few days to a maximum of 6 months if you are tackling an entire house full of clutter! I'm focusing my efforts on the bedroom and office. I find I can't relax in the bedroom due to clutter and I get distracted in the office and I'm unable to start the projects I want to do because of limited space and a lack of organisation in the room.

There are plenty of reviews for this book online. Most accept the method. Some people have problems with it because they feel it's too severe, that they will end up throwing away things and regret it later. I think you can follow this to a 'T' or take and leave the bits you want to. For instance there is an advised list of areas to work through. I've already strayed from this as I'm almost pre-tidying various bits of rubbish, boxes from Christmas deliveries etc. before I start tackling belongings I've had for a while. I'm hoping that I'll end up with two well organised rooms, places that I find relaxing but can also work in when I need to. Kondo's belief is that when there clutter in a room our thoughts are often directed to the mess. When you remove the mess you are left with your thoughts and anxieties that you've been avoiding for a while. There are also reports of people looking better physically, taking control of their lives in other ways. Also, removing clutter from a room and whipping around a room allows the settled dust to move, air to circulate and fresh air to come in- all of which can benefit the skin, bonus!

I'd give this book a 4/5. It's really easy to read. If you aren't interested in the approach as a whole you can skip to sections that appeal to you most e.g. organising your sock draws or desks.

I've included a photo of how many pages I've turned down to give you guys an idea of how useful I found this book. I'll be doing the same for every book review I post in the future.

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