Seriously though, don't say that to someone with depression...it's unlikely that we'll throw a punch but the thought will occur to us. It's a hard time to be feeling low. Some people might think the festive season would be just the thing to pep us up. In a way it does and can alleviate depression for a time, not forever though. Having the people that love us around can help, it lets us know that there really are people in our corner. Can't it always be that way? Why do we wait so long to have big family gatherings or much needed group catch ups. We all need a support system, and we tend to need that all year round not just once a year.
The glowing lights, warming fires, season of generosity and love should be enough to see us through, right? Unfortunately that's not aways the case. It can also be an incredibly stressful time. Having a sudden increase in the number of people in the household, more voices, more action can leave people feeling flustered and under pressure to be 'on' at all times. I've had relatives ask me why I don't have a smile pinned to my face at all times, where is the merriment and all that. At that particular time I was a few days away from having an operation and I was also desperately trying to hide that I had a serious mental illness. Last year I was adamant that I wasn't 'doing' Christmas, recall that Christmas song "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, but I think I'll miss this one this year". I didn't feel the way I was 'supposed' to feel. We're presented with an image of how things are supposed to look at Christmas thanks to being constantly bombarded with adverts around the clock. I just didn't want to ruin it for everyone else.
I later realised that everyone struggles with the festive period in some way, and it's often the case that they hide those feelings too. What's really required is that we're simply there for one another. The other aspects, the 'magic' of Christmas are bonuses. It's also definitely not about the presents. Try not to get caught up in ideas of how much you ought to spend on someone. The best presents are always the ones with more thought behind them. It's pretty common for depressives to get into debt, especially if they find themselves being too ill to work. The trouble become all the more difficult at this time of year. Loved ones certainly won't want you to get into further difficulty for the sake of buying them something you can't afford. In this age of technology, Facebook and Instagram people have got into the habit of sharing every aspect of their lives, including products they're using and buying. It can create a false impression of wealth and followers or friends that see those posts can feel jealous or a need to meet those standards. What we don't see is how they've achieved that wealth, whether it's genuine or the result of exorbitant pay day loans, temporary fixes that usually generate more problems.
This year I have been more thoughtful that usual, it might seem more generous to some people. I've put a lot of thought into every gift. I'd recommend that's what we all attempt to do. And for those of you struggling with depression, I also advise getting artsy and crafty with your wrapping this year. Set yourself up in front of a Christmas film, or in my case the highly tense bloody drama of 'Grey's Anatomy', and create some bespoke decorations for your gifts. You don't even have to be particularly artistic to do it! I've got the brown paper out, some ink pads and stamps. Standing away monotonously works well for me, the consistency of it calms me down and allows me to focus purely on that for an hour or so. The stamping motion also works well if you're feeling frustrated stamp stamp stamp it out! Oh and that song I mentioned earlier, the final verse adapts into "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, couldn't miss this one this year".
I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year. I know there is one more Wednesday before Christmas, but once again I'm taking myself off on a jolly working holiday. Here's hoping for a fantastic 2016 for all of us.
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