Frozen face art in keeping with the blog post title.
The past six years of my life have been incredibly testing, I have grown a lot as a person and have certainly become more knowledgable. However, I have also become a recluse, an introvert. Since my primary school days of being incredibly shy and reluctant to volunteer, being labelled as "mousey" for being so quiet, I have developed a severe social anxiety disorder. I struggle amongst large groups and also amongst small groups, even when those include family members and close friends. It is an incredibly tiring life, constantly worrying about what people think of me, fidgeting during uncomfortable social situations, and how my throat starts to close up at the thought of having to say something. Its like living life being allergic to the world around you. It can be a situation, a particular place or an uncomfortable conversation that triggers the sensation of being at the top of a roller coaster and waiting for your stomach to fall. But it doesn't. That sensation stays in my stomach and rises to my throat leaving me feeling even more uncomfortable and unable to speak.
