Screen print 'Happy Pills' by Chris James
It's a cracking post title, right? Just what you want when you're feel downtrodden already, you've finally managed to talk things through with a doctor, you've got through the period of adjusting to being on anti-depressants with their lovely side effects and to top it off...weight gain. That's just splendid. Not all of them cause weight gain, in some cases they can cause weight loss due to a decreased appetite. Frankly I'd be game to get on those ones!
I first started taking anti-depressants in September 2013. After hiding my illness for 5 years things had become so bad that I barely had the energy to keep up the facade. My mum woke me up one day and just said that she knew something wasn't right and outright asked if I thought I was depressed. I started crying and could barely stop myself. I knew it was bad and it had slowly been chipping away at the person I was until very little of that fun loving personality remained. That same day I walked into my GP's office and told them everything I'd been trying and failing to say for years. The most I'd managed to say to them before was that I'd been having panic attacks but they didn't prescribe anything or refer me to a counsellor. This time she pushed a box of tissues towards me and said "oh it can be all that bad surely" somehow in that moment I managed to fight my corner, I told her of my self harming and suicidal thoughts, of how I barely lived these days and spent the end of my summer term at uni locked away in my room. Reluctantly she prescribed me my first dose of anti-depressants. Her hesitance was due to me being a temporary patient back in Ipswich as I was then registered with a doctor up in Durham whilst I was at uni and they might have had a different opinion on how my depression should be treated. I was prescribed what is generally prescribed in the first instance providing that you aren't pregnant or experiencing a serious health condition such as heart problems or diabetes. I was initially given a small dose of Sertraline as my score on the multi choice test for depression was pretty high and rated me as having severe major depression with social anxiety.
Unfortunately medications don't work straight away, they can actually cause the depression to worsen over the initial two weeks of taking them and even after they kick in they don't always agree with you. I experienced some pretty bad side effects and the Sertraline didn't seem to be improving my mood, so it was decided that I was be put on Venlafaxine. Bad luck for me as I had a GP that whipped me off Sertraline in a week, not recommended! Usually you will be phased off anti-depressants slowly so you're body can adapt without going into withdrawal. I went straight into withdrawal, was extremely emotional and a danger to myself. If I'd had been in a better state of mind I might have been able to give that GP a well deserved telling off, but I was barely able to speak up loud enough to check into the doctors surgery let alone give the doctor a good telling off.
I've been on Venlafaxine (also known as Effexor) for about four years now. I've experienced some side effects but nothing bad enough to prompt me to change again. Even though I knew my current GP would carefully remove it from my system, I was still scared of having another horrendous experience of withdrawal and a major depressive episode without any anti-depressants in my system. That was until I realised something recently. When I was at uni I kept track of my weight. At the time I was experiencing body dysmorphia, I still do but in different ways now, I believed that I was fat when I was actually around the perfect weight for my frame (just under 9 stone). Flash forward to today and I'm 11st 6lbs. The most commonly used anti-depressants such as Prozac and Zoloft can cause weight gain of at least 10lbs! Nightmare! The cause of this weight gain isn't known for certain, it can be because of an improved mood and the ability to find pleasure in things again such as food. It has also been shown to cause a change in metabolism (making it slower) causing patients to gain weight despite maintaining normal eating habits.
Depression did cause a major change in my diet and activity levels, for the worse. However, since January I have been moving more than I had in the past couple of years, eating significantly better, upping my daily step count and really pushing with the exercise. Imagine my horror when I put a dress on a couple of months ago that was tight when a few months prior it had been loose! I know that weight loss takes time but this was devastating. I checked out the side effects of Venlafaxine and yipeee weight gain is one of them. I discovered forums full of people experiencing the same problem. Enough is enough for me, my anxiety and depression is closely linked to my body image and self confidence. If the thing that's supposed to be helping my mood is causing weight gain and destroying my confidence, it will inevitably reignite the depression. Awesome.
I decided to head to my GP to discuss coming off Venlafaxine. He was incredibly relieved. In the years since I'd been taking it, more and more tests on the drug and those taking it had revealed that it can have major effects on the cardiac system. Anti-depressants often affect more than one nervous system i.e. the brain and something else, in this case it is the heart. With his assistance I've been slowly withdrawing from Venlafaxine since April. It has to be a gradual process as my body has become so used to it's presence after relying upon it for so many years. The body and mind goes into shock as it realises this thing it has clung to for so long is suddenly being taken away from it. My dosage was adjusted every two weeks and with it came a variety of side effects which I've listed below:
- Weeks 1 + 2: alternating days of 225mg and 150 mg, high levels of anxiety, shakes, sweating
- Weeks 3 + 4: 150mg each day, dramatic mood swings, tearful, low mood, upset stomach, fatigue and insomnia
- Weeks 5 + 6: alternating days of 150mg and 112/5mg, sensation of chickenpox on the skin feeling itchy but no visible cause, hot flushes, nausea, fatigue, sickness, insomnia
- Weeks 7 + 8: 112.5mg each day, less nausea, appetite returned, loss of concentration, increased sensitivity to sudden noises and movements, very dry mouth
- Weeks 9 + 10: alternating days of 112.5mg and 75mg, very low moods, low self esteem, high anxiety, poor sleep pattern
- Weeks 11 until present day: 75mg every day, very low mood, crying over nothing, very sensitive, tired, headaches, anxious, low self esteem, lack of concentration, lack of enjoyment
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