Feeling Blue

 I'm lacking the height of an Avatar.

Do you remember the days of over-evaluating poems and literature in English lessons at school? Most of us accept the words in front of us for what they are, but sometimes we had to delve deeper to find the true meaning behind the author's words. "The room was blue", so apparently this means the author or poet was in dispair or sad at the time of writing the piece, or perhaps the room was just BLUE and they were setting the bloody scene! Colours seem to be used to describe certain feelings and emotions; red with anger, green with envy and blue with sorrow. 'Feeling blue' is actually listed under the NHS definitions/symptoms of depression, a fairly limiting description of how it really feels to be depressed. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw a video campaign discussing depression in the doctor's waiting room. It started off well enough, providing the statistic that 1 in 5 people will experience depression at some period in their lifespan. They proceded to highlight the depressed people in the advert by tinting their images in blue. Yes, its that easy to identify those living with depression, we all have a blue tint in our skintone. To any outsiders Robbie and I probably looked very unsympathetic towards the advert and the illness it depicted. I'm thrilled that these adverts are put up in doctors surgeries, it may be the difference between a patient going in to see their doctor to finally discuss their mental health concerns or they, like myself, may go in and end up discussing some other minor ailment. In a way its great that I can now laugh at these attempts to address mental health conditions, it means that I've slightly moved away from feeling incredibly uncomfortable in a waiting room. It also shows me that perhaps those who are dealing with mental health conditions may be able to help with the production of these adverts and posters, to ensure that they speak in the correct way  to those who need them most. If only it were so easy to identify, if I'd developed a blue tint to my skin all those years ago perhaps someone would have jumped at the chance to help me as it would have been SO clear that I was depressed. I mean well with this post, I'm making fun of all those people that have said THE most unhelpful things about my illness.

Looking at the 'blue' feeling from a different side, this word doesn't have to be associated with sadness, desperation, low moods and depression. I've recently started attending yoga sessions as a way of reintroducing some activity into my life, to improve my fitness and also as a way of relaxing. At the end of each session we have a 'body check' and relaxation period laying down on our mats. We're encouraged to allow our legs to flop in whichever way they feel natural, and also to stretch out our arms. From an aerial view I probably look like a fly that's been swatted against the ground. Somehow I'm talked into a very relaxing state, not quite to the point of being asleep, but in a way that I feel both inside and out of my body. Our instructor started talking about feeling blue, "eh?!" I'd gone to escape that for a bit. However, she continued to talk about a blue aura, a feeling of peace, of refreshing waves washing over our bodies to cleanse us and to feel anew. A total flip side of the usual use of the phrase 'feeling blue'. I left the session feeling thoroughly worked out, rather sore in places, but also feeling very relaxed and peaceful.