SAD

Take the time to appreciate the Autumnal colours. The trees are ablaze and the sunlight is hazy, it won't be around for long though!

I've known for quite some time now that I have depression. I hadn't realised that things were about to get a whole lot worse in the Autumn. This time last year I started feeling more down than usual, my sleeping pattern completely changed and I barely ventured outside. Despite sleeping late into the day I would be exhausted all day, only to go on to have insomnia at night. It soon became clear that I was experiencing the 'winter depression', otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or 'SAD'. This was something that I briefly heard about at school, something which some students would try to claim they had when they started resting their heads on the school desks, much to the annoyance of teachers.

I'd assumed that it was something that just affected the elderly, being restricted by other health concerns and poor weather conditions can dampen anyone's mood. SAD actually affects 1 in 10 people in the UK. People are affected when the days become shorter as the clocks go back an hour and the Autumn/Winter days close in quickly. This disorder effects people in the Northern and Southern hemispheres, it is VERY unlikely to affect those near the Equator. However, it has been known to happen in reverse i.e. people experience SAD during the Spring and Summer months, but have more energy during the months of September to February. The symptoms over-lap with those of General Depression and include the following:

• a persistent low mood
• feeling irritable 
• loss of pleasure and lack of interest in the things you used to enjoy
• lack of interested in everyday activities
• feelings of despair, worthlessness and guilt
• lack of energy 
• sleeping longer/later into the day 
• more prone to illness due to weakened immune system 
• not interested in social activities
• craving foods from the carbohydrates group, which may be reflected in weight gain 

 I was badly affected by the constant presence of darkness. It would be dark when I woke up and would become darker earlier in the afternoon. It felt like the darkness from my mind had escaped and was trying to swallow the world outside of my head. There simply weren't enough light hours in the day, and even when there were I wasn't in the mood to go outside. In attempts to pep me up a bit we purchased a light box. I believe we got one recommended by the SAD association which should be fairly easy to find if you search online. The light box is used for light therapy, you simply sit in front of the box during the day to compensate for the lack of light outside. It is incredibly bright and takes a bit of getting used to. You simply use the box whilst going about your normal activities: watching TV, working on the computer at home or whilst doing a spot of ironing! Just ensure that you don't use a light box within 6 hours of going to sleep. If you experience SAD whilst you are in the workplace I'm sure that after a short conversation with your boss/manager you'll be able to use your light box in the workplace, so long as you have access to a plug in your line of work! It also helps to get outside as much as possible during the day. Gentle exercise such as walking outside kills two birds with one stone! With the assistance of your GP you can also discuss the options of talking therapies and medications to assist you with your treatment of SAD during these months as well. You may find that you only need to be on medication during the Autumn/Winter months as your mood might be elevated during the lighter months. This year I've popped my head above the stormy clouds in my head to admire the beautiful colours nature brings during the Autumn. Try to head out somewhere to walk amongst them or even go for a short drive and stare at the beautiful colours whizzing past (from the passenger's seat please, I will not be responsible for any accidents due to gawking from the driver's seat!).

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Happy Birthday

The official date of my blog birthday is the 14th of October, so this would have been an ideal post for last week as it fell on a Wednesday (my normal blogging day). As I previously mentioned on the Cheerful Chelsea Facebook page, I recently had an operation on my nose (not a nose job thanks) and I decided to extend my blogging vacation. Fear not! I have not abandoned the blog, I just felt like I was beginning to repeat myself. Even though I'm often sharing my personal history and experiences with you, it can take me a while when writing about certain events and topics. This is usually due to me suppressing things over the years so I'm slowly uncovering details and rediscovering memories. Fortunately for others out there, I am in a better place to deal with things now so hopefully my words will provide some relief if you've been through similar experiences.

Anyway, it's been one year since I started the blog! I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone that has supported me this year and has read any of my blog posts. Due to the nature of this blog I understand that most readers might not be in the position where they feel comfortable to comment. I felt the same a few years ago, I was worried about certain people seeing me 'like' and comment on things to do with mental health. Despite not getting many comments, I am still in awe of how many views I receive! So thank you very much for listening (?) to me all year long.

It may not come as a surprise that I have been worrying about how long I will be able to continue writing in this way. Will it only last for as a long as I have depression? Will my readership start to fall as it begins to look like I've covered everything? Of course there is SO much to cover on mental health, and I only cover a small percentage of that as I can only write about what I've experienced. Writing has been so beneficial to my recovery as it has allowed me to fill the void left from not seeing a counsellor anymore. I didn't have the best experience with counsellors, I went through six different counsellors and decided that was enough. I'm not saying that anyone should forgo seeing a counsellor, it is definitely something that should be tried. All illnesses have a variety of treatments to alleviate the symptoms, one size does not fit all when it comes to the treatment of depression, and the same applies to so many other medical conditions. I may return to counselling one day, but for now being able to write allows me to work through my problems and process them in a way I never did in the past.

As for the future of the blog. Who knows. I definitely want to and WILL continue to write here. Perhaps Cheerful Chelsea will become a less ironic blog name over time! In the way that life evolves I'm sure the blog will develop too and it will be a way to document the time-line of my life. There might (probably will) be happier times to come, such as Robbie and I choosing to get married some day in the future. Hopefully posts on those kinds of developments in my life will encourage others to hope and believe that there will be an end to their depression. After-all, storms can't last forever.

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