Growing Pains

 I got snap happy over my Venus Flytrap!

 I'm not always the best at looking after myself, if I'm having a down-day, week or month I often begin to feel useless and get frustrated due to feeling like I can't do the 'normal' things others can. However, I manage to get myself up for the day if I have certain responsibilities or things I've committed to. Sure I'm not the best at getting up and feeling peppy over going to see my doctor, mostly because of some of the things they've said to me in the past. When it comes to having to be there for other people or my pets I just know I have to find the strength within myself to be there. Its certainly not easy if I've been stuck in that head space for a while, but I've had a support system around me for a long time now. This support system has been responsible for looking after me when I just don't care about my own welfare, they make sure I take my medication, check that I have enough of my prescription, help me get to places if I need to pick something up that I fancy but just don't feel strong enough to drive myself. They mean a lot to me and do so much for me without even having to be asked. Its not easy living with depression, but we must also remember to think about those who stick by us, they may understand our illness and want to help but its not always easy watching someone suffer. These people may well feel equally as exhausted as we do. So, whenever they need something from me, I try to put my worries and wallowing aside to be there for them.

Its a process, adjusting from being looked after to being the one that's taking care of someone else will take time. I've been lucky enough to have been able to look after the most adorable hamster (Ruben) and our puppy (Toby) since January. I don't want to miss any time with them, so I try to make my days as long as possible to spend time with them so I don't miss any of their 'firsts', I don't want to just hear about them from others. Looking after pets has given me more of a structure to my day, something which I have previously written about in the post linked here. Having something else to look after can be great for someone with depression, obviously its not a decision to be made impulsively and there are many aspects to be considered before committing to having a pet. There are many factors that prevent people from getting pets such as allergies, financial and time constraints, a busy work schedule or if you live in rented properties that do not allow pets.

Consider my alternative. On a slightly easier day when your mood has lifted from the depths of depression, try to head out to a garden centre or even a supermarket and have a nosey around their plant sections. You can usually find some small houseplants in supermarkets, them always have an abundance of orchids (!) usually for fairly reasonable prices. Orchids certainly aren't the easiest to look after, but they are beautiful. I was gutted when mine started losing it's flowers, but I've manage to re-pot it and I've even seen a few more leaves sprout out, ITS STILL ALIVE YESSSS! There seems to have been an surge in bloggers and Instagramers posting photos of their cacti and succulent plants, and I've been hooked by those posts too. These plants are relatively low maintenance, incredibly hard to kill off and can be really pretty! Even if you don't think they are particularly pretty perhaps set aside some time to DIY some regular terracotta pots, I picked some up for 40p each from a garden centre. Head over to Pinterest for some inspiration on decorating some plain pots. Just adding some colour to your environment, having some aerate the room and being responsible for something can be a small step towards giving your days more structure and perhaps taking the steps towards looking after others on your stronger days. Yes, I'm aware that plants are a major step down from looking after pets, its nothing like being greeted with a lick across the face. BUT, you also won't get nipped when a chew toy isn't available, and no poops to pick up either!

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