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15 Things




Some people suffer from word vomit; a lack of filtering what they say, which can be incredibly insensitive, frustrating and awkward for all involved. I've had more than my fair share of being on the receiving end of generic insulting comments about depression, panic attacks and anxiety. I also heard a lot of offensive jokes made at the expense of mental health patients whilst I was secretly living with one myself. I can excuse those who genuinely do not know anything about depression, but those who ignore the facts and seek to intentionally insult people with these illnesses...well, I'd quite like to give them a quick upper-cut to the jaw. The small over-used phrases like "chin up", "its not that bad",  "its not the end of the world" etc. can be just as frustrating and hurtful to hear. Even those with the best intentions can say things that aren't meant to be hurtful but end up causing damage. For me it seems that even hearing the words "you seem to be better recently" can cause damage, it can push me right back down into the pit of depression, most likely because I'm actually terrified of life without the crutch of depression. My advice is to try to ask those you know with depression or anxiety what triggers their downfalls, and also what can actually help them, that way perhaps we can avoid some additional trips to laying face down on our beds! So, here is my list of 15 things you should not say to someone with depression and/or anxiety. Apologies for the lack of post last week, and for the change in style of post this week, I'm attempting to vary the content from now onwards.

  1. Chin up, its not as if you're dying of this "illness".
  2. There are people in the world in far worse positions than you, appreciate what you have.
  3. Its not a real illness like cancer or diabetes.
  4. Maybe you need to take more vitamins, because I heard this study on the news...
  5. Those anti-depressants don't seem to be working, you probably shouldn't put those chemicals in your body anyway.
  6. Have you just tried being happy instead? Or maybe you could just pretend.
  7. You can still live a normal life, people with actual illnesses carry on normally.
  8. If you just stop worrying all the time you wouldn't be anxious, problem solved!
  9. You seem better today, perhaps you were never actually depressed, maybe you just had a 'blue' day.
  10. I bet you self-diagnosed your problem, like a hypercondriac or something.
  11. People that kill themselves are so selfish, plus they're cowards taking the easy way out. 
  12. Cutters are so attention seeking, why don't they just walk into a room being loud and entertaining instead?!
  13. Depression isn't a real illness though, its all in your head. Real illnesses can be detected from blood tests and stuff. 
  14. On the bright side loads of depressed people are really creative and successful...eventually, or they're finally understood when they're dead. 
  15. I SAW HER SMILE AT THAT JOKE HE MADE ON COMEDY ROADSHOW, SHE'S NOT DEPRESSED HURRAH!

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  1. For depression to lift often requires making some very difficult, life changing decisions such as giving up Uni, changing a job or career path and walking away from unhelpful relationships. So you somehow make all those decisions through a fog of pain, anxiety and depression and you start to feel better - AND THEN WHAT? Scary as hell. Now everyone will want to know what I am going to do with my life and I haven't figured that bit out yet?!! What do I say? What do I do? Well, actually we're all just delighted and so grateful that you are starting to feel a bit better and just want to see you able to enjoy the little things in life again. So take your time, keep doing what feels right, start to explore the world around you and this time next year you'll be amazed at what you find yourself doing. Xx

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