My counsellor lives 200 miles away from me and we've never properly met each other. Sounds odd? We haven't met in person but we've had near weekly calls since April, making this the most successful period of counselling I've ever had: my previous record was 5 sessions with a counsellor. I struggled to find the right fit with a counsellor much like the struggle to get the perfect skinny jeans: slim in the legs without going baggy over the knees or suffocating my hips. I've had counsellors that have made a good first impression only to end up being disappointing, didn't fit well for long, appalling quality (I'm really stretching the jeans analogy) and over-all a waste of my money.
Over the years I've seen counsellors at college, I visited university talking therapists, I attempted to use a phone service recommended by my doctor when I was at uni (it was appalling) and I've seen some private counsellors too. I took breaks in between because I was left feeling deflated and even more helpless than when I started. After one last attempt at NHS counselling, I decided to search for someone who would hopefully be a good fit for me. But my choices were limited by my location and at the time I was also restricted because I couldn't drive due to severe anxiety.
I decided to widen my scope and look into Skype counselling. If you check out the online counselling directory here you'll see that you can search by location but you can also specify qualities of the counsellor that would be ideal for you such as gender, age and for my search I selected to see those who offered Skype sessions. I found someone whose website really impressed me and fortunately they were just as impressive.
If you live outside the UK an alternative service available is Modern Therapy. They are based in the USA offering counselling services in person and online depending upon your preferences and location. They even offer a free consultation to new clients to help assess what you are looking for from therapy and to assign a counsellor who could be a good fit for you. I really admire the service they are offering. As much as we'd all like to be able to receive free counselling, we often can't stand the wait on the never ending lists. Modern Therapy offer a quality service without charging beyond a patients means. Check out their charming back story here.
FYI I've never actually done a session remotely whilst sitting in my underwear (!) but one of the many advantages of Skype counselling is that you totally could do that. I got so tightly wound when I sat in cold, bland counselling rooms with minimal furniture. I never really managed to feel comfortable. Whereas with this I can be fully dressed or in my pyjamas, sans make-up if that's what I need that day, sat on the sofa cuddling a pillow with a glass of water and a cup of tea in front of me. There's also the bonus that I don't have to avoid eye contact; I never knew how long I should hold it for and there was never anything hanging on the walls that I could look at instead. The only shortcoming with this kind of therapy is that sometimes the internet cuts out and the picture freezes but that's easily fixed. Just ensure that you test out where your connection is best in the house before you start having regular sessions so you can avoid any major disruptions.
I know that having counselling privately isn't possible for everyone but if you're able to spend a bit of money on it each week or once a fortnight it can be worth it. I did spend a lot of time on waiting lists for NHS talking therapies but I was in such a bad way: I needed to get some help urgently not in x amount of months time. The convenience of the setup has been transformative for my progress with counselling as I no longer get into an anxious and stressed state over travelling to my appointments or sitting in waiting rooms. I'd highly recommend it if this sounds like something you'd be open to considering and if you can afford to spend the money on treating your mental health.
